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Saturday, August 20, 2016

Wildflower

Good evening Guys!

Guess what I've been doing. 
Packing all day long! 
I still have over 48 hours left, so it should be okay.
I feel quite calm about this adventure, but when I was packing 
I had literally breathing problems. I think I subconsciously stress about it.

Tomorrow I'll continue, but now I decided to write about that one book.


Wildflower
 written by 
Drew Barrymore


I've got one funny anecdote to tell you first. 
Before reading this book, I read The Art Of The Interview
& there was the exact same quote in both books!

"When I was with him as a teenager he told me he needed food, and I asked him, 'Oh yeah, are you hungry?' He looked at me wide-eyed and indignant. 'Hungry? I was hungry since the day I was born!'"



Like my Favourite book says that we accept the love we think we deserve, 
that's how I think that we notice the quotes that reflect our soul.
So maybe the quotes we choose say more about us than about the book?

Here they come:


"She would also tell me that when I felt lost, the best things to do was write! And as a lover of journals, this really spoke to me. (...) This pink leather-bound journal was delivered to my door with a note that read, 'Start writing to your daughter and keep it up every day! Love, Kate'"


"Because this one man believed in my silly stories, he made me feel like I could do anything."


"I need to mention that I made pancakes for my man. 'It's good.' I felt relieved. 'And you know I'd tell you otherwise,' he said, and it's true, he would.
As much as I want to kill him when he does tell me he doesn't like soothing. I am always grateful when he does like something because I know it's genuine! And I hate yes-men. I like it real. Honest. Tough love with support!"


"I called her up late and said, 'You know, we can keep talking about this or we can actually do it. And I say we just go rent an RV in the morning and GO!' And much to my happiness, she said yes, and we did just that! (...) We would be on the open road for one month -- let the games begin!"


"When I was in the school yard, there was no denying that I simply didn't posses any ability for agility either, as I was always last to be picked for a sporty game. I understood. And although it made me look like a loser, I actually agreed with those team captains."


"There was a desire in me to believe that people have extraordinary destinies and that, after all, most of our heroes in life are human beings. We can have faith in those people, and just as important, we can be heroes too. We all have the capacity to be divine, but that damn ego always lets some people think they are bigger or better than others."


"There should be no 'I' in what you are saying or thinking or feeling. You have to separate yourself from yourself. You have to realise that 'you' are nothing and 'we' are all everything. (...) We are all a part of everything. You are the sunshine and the air and a flower in a field. (...) Everything is alive and connected."


"And she was right. I didn't question whether he was 'the one'. I was trying to figure out how I would go all the way with this man and really create that family. (...) You make a choice to commit and you move forward. You live your life. And you appreciate what you have."




Even though I thought the book was going to be quite superficial,
I found inspiring quotes! 

MissCherry xo

Saturday, August 13, 2016

La Balianophobie

This one will be the last one for today.
It is about the present situation in Europe.
The paper is a summary of three articles.

It's in French.

& deeper than the previous two papers. 

***

SYNTHÈSE 

L’Europe est un continent uni, prospère et puissant. Rien n’y manque, ce qui indique que tout y est présent: les droits de l’homme, des esprits flexibles et des traités qui semblent pouvoir résoudre tous les problèmes. Il reste la question de savoir si cela est la vérité ou plutôt un mythe. L’Européen pourrait mener une vie paisible s’il laissait la télévision éteinte. Ce sont les médias qui ne cessent pas à semer la panique. «Réveille-toi Européen naïf, ta culture est attaquée par des barbares!» — un succinct résumé des nouvelles télévisées des derniers mois.

Analysons notre société en la comparant à l’Église catholique. L’Église n’est pas seulement un monument impressionnant. L’Église catholique est l’ensemble des convictions et des traditions des religieux et des chrétiens. Pourtant il est remarquable que ces convictions sont reflétées dans ce sanctuaire. Cela est aussi applicable à notre société — si on effaçait toute la population du territoire belge, on pourrait constater que ce n’est pas un paysage neutre. On remarquerait entre autres des institutions, des habitations et des lieus de récréation. C’est-à-dire que l’idéologie des belges est reflétée dans ce paysage. Cela est aussi le cas dans chaque autre pays, comme par exemple en Syrie. Par contre, il est certain que ce paysage diffère du paysage belge. Il ne faut pas nécessairement penser à la guerre et aux bâtiments détruits, simplement au paysage d’un pays du Moyen Orient. Une image presque parfaite pour un Syrien. Cependant, si différente de la société presque parfaite d’un Européen. 

Pourtant, l’article 13 de la Déclaration universelle des droits de l’homme est que chaque homme a la liberté de circulation. Il reste de nouveau la question de savoir si cela est la vérité ou plutôt un mythe. Un droit réconfortant en temps de guerre, mais qui a des restrictions aussi. La Syrie n’a jamais connu un temps où les droits de l’homme ont été respectés. Par contre, l’Europe, qui est plus développée, essaie de respecter ces droits. Comment est-ce possible de ne pas pouvoir trouver un juste milieu? Nous vivons au XXIe siècle, mais en temps de crise on simplifie égoïstement la liberté du prochain. Plusieurs voix européennes proclament plutôt «le droit de chacun à lever son pied au-dessus de la frontière pour quitter son pays mais pas à le reposer dans le pays de son choix». Le Syrien doit donc étudier minutieusement, quelle des 51 frontières européennes est la plus facile à dépasser. 

L’Allemagne, qui ouvre ses bras, rend la tâche plus facile aux réfugiés. Le point de vue sur l’Europe d’un Syrien n’est pas claire, mais il est probable qu’il voit l’Europe comme une mine d’or. Il suffit de trouver un emploi et ensuite d’organiser sa vie pour qu’elle soit stable et harmonieuse. Cela est quand même assez égoïste, n’est-ce pas? Ou est-ce que l’attitude de l’Européen est égoïste? Il faut se poser la question de savoir ce qui est plus important: le confort de l’Européen ou la sécurité du Syrien. 

L’Européen a une excuse préférée, nommément que «les réfugiés ne veulent pas s’intégrer». Un vrai Marocain est sans doute celui qui traîne dans les rues avec ses copains. (...). Cela est le préjugé de l’Européen aveuglé par les médias. Ils diffusent tant de nouvelles inquiétantes sur les étrangers, que on ne retient plus les héros étrangers comme Lassana Bathily. C’est alors l’Européen qui crée cette image exagérée. 

Cela est aussi le point de départ des anti-racistes, qui par contre sont prêts à accueillir tous les réfugiés, mais ensuite «ils se sentent devenir étrangers sur leur propre sol». Selon eux chaque ville a son propre Molenbeek. De plus, chaque massacre en Europe n’a pas été commis par des terroristes. Un exemple aussi cruel est la tuerie de Norvège commise par Anders Breivik. 

Il est important de ne pas accuser les réfugiés, mais à les aider à s’intégrer. Philippe Nemo est convaincu que les réfugiés vont à une Europe fondée sur le christianisme. Pourtant, il faut ajouté que cette Europe chrétienne est plutôt athée. Nemo prétend que c’est l’Europe qui «[ferme] a priori cette voie et [rend] leur intégration insincère et précaire».  C’est pourquoi il est important de n’en pas faire un sujet tabou, mais une option. Cela ne peut pas être une obligation, mais soyons clairs, une option.

Il ne faut pas devenir balianophobe. La crise des réfugiés n’est pas la première confrontation massive entre les Européens et la civilisation islamique. Après la Deuxième Guerre mondiale, pendant les années soixante, ce sont les Européens qui ont recruté 800.000 étrangers pour travailler dans les mines, l’industrie lourde ou dans le secteur de service. Au début, cela était mieux organisé. Les accords bilatéraux ont facilité à régler les conditions de séjour et de travail. Les migrants ont commencé à devenir moins patients et ils préféraient immigrer en utilisant des passeports touristiques. Ensuite, l’Europe avait suffisamment de travailleurs, mais les migrants ne cessaient pas à dépasser les frontières à la recherche d’une meilleure vie. La bonne nouvelle est que l’Europe a réussi à émerger de cette période chaotique. Pourrons nous résoudre la crise de la même manière que dans les années soixante? 

Non seulement les hommes politiques, mais aussi les philosophes essayent de résoudre ce problème. Selon Emmanuelle Auriol, il vaudrait mieux «vendre des visas aux gens qui souhaiteraient travailler chez nous». Comme aux années soixante, les employeurs réguleraient le statut de séjour. D’autres penseurs célèbres comme Emmanuel Levinas ou Jürgen Habernas affirment que la meilleure solution est d’ouvrir les frontières. Selon eux c’est un droit fondamental et un principe démocratique. De plus «le migrant “déraciné” et sans identité» est facile à remodeler. Devrait l’Europe «offrir un sanctuaire temporaire au sein de l’État qui a les moyens de le protéger, puis se voir prier de revenir dans leur pays d’origine, lorsque la menace est passée» ou «accroître l’aide aux pays pauvres qui accueillent actuellement les réfugiés non loin de leur lieu de résidence». Plus on pose de questions, plus on reçoit de réponses.

Le réfugié doit sans doute non seulement mettre les frontières européennes sous pression, mais aussi ses propres frontières idéologiques. L’Europe devrait aussi faire preuve de son unité, puisque «avec 150 personnes sur une chaloupe conçue pour 60, le chavirage est assuré et tout le monde se noierait».



Bibliographie:
  • Eltchaninoff, Michel. 2015. «Une frontière doit être ouverte ou fermée». Philosophie magazine nº94, novembre, p.28-35.
  • Guénolé, Thomas (2015). «Prologue La balianophobie», dans «Les jeunes de banlieue mangent-ils des enfant?». Lormont : Les Bords de l’eau.
  • Yüksel, Veli (2014). «Hoe het begon» dans «Nergens beter dan thuis». Gent : Borgerholl, p. 40-48.
  • Mirabeau et Mounier (1789). «La Déclaration universelle des droits de l’homme». 
  • AFP. 2012. «Breivik transféré dans une prison». Le Figaro, [en ligne] juillet, Disponible sur: http://www.lefigaro.fr/flash-actu/2012/07/24/97001-20120724FILWWW00387-breivik-transfere-dans-une-prison.php [Consulté le 8 avril 2016].
***


MissCherry xo

The Bell Jar + Emma

Hi Guys! 
I found my paper I wrote this year.
It took me some time to write it and I am satisfied with the result as with my score! 
This is why I'm sharing it with you :)
I hope this is helpful! 

It's a comparison between

The Bell Jar 
by 
Sylvia Plath 


Emma 
by 
Jane Austen

***

Revolutions of the Woods

I chose two books between which I do not see any resemblance at first sight. The first story I read was “The Bell Jar” by Sylvia Plath, the second one was “Emma” by Jane Austen. Both books were written by a woman, but in two different centuries. Did Jane Austen’s soul reincarnate into Sylvia Plath’s body ?

As the first chapter usually contains the most important information, I will summarise “The Bell Jar” by elaborating on the first twelve pages.

In the American 60s, a teenage girl’s destination was becoming a mother and a housewife. The protagonist Esther Greenwood did not agree with it and started a personal battle. Besides, she was on the right path to success. She won a writing contest and was given the opportunity to collaborate with the editor of a fashion magazine in New York.

She had already been losing the fight against American society, but as she returned to her hometown, things only worsened. Esther expected to be greeted by the acceptance letter for the writing course of her dreams. Unfortunately that was not the case and her life crashed down. Esther locked herself up in a bell jar filled with dark thoughts. Her only goal left was to commit suicide. After taking an overdose of sleeping pills, her darkest dream came true — she survived.

Esther was moved to several psychiatric institutions. Her recovery was a roller- coaster with ups and downs. She struggled with anxiety, loneliness and misjudgement. In the end, she succeeded in breaking the glass of the bell jar. The question remains, did she also succeed in breaking the social norms?

Esther Greenwood’s story took place in the United States of America. “The Bell Jar” consists of two parts. The first part of the story begins in New York, the city where fashion and dreams come together. This is obviously not the case for everyone, but the young girl got the taste of the upper east siders’ life. That summer, she achieved the goals that she had set for herself. Afterwards she tried to climb higher on the social ladder, but unfortunately this was not meant for women.

The story continues as the young girl returned to her hometown, a village near Boston. With her eyes fixed on success, she fell in the black hole the way you fall asleep: slowly and then all at once1. In my opinion the black hole was made of small dark dots, each representing a bad experience. After her suicide attempt, she ended up not in one, but in a whole range of asylums. These were not chosen based on her social status, but on her behaviour, which worsened in the course of the first few weeks. 
Esther came from the upper-middle class. Her mother, Mrs Greenwood worked as a lecturer at a less prestigious college2. Esther had a comfortable life, but she explained that her mother could not pay for her dream trip to Europe. If her father had not died, her future might have been different. She said that he would have taught her Latin or Greek and they would probably have had a more financially stable life.

Closer to the end, one of her friends — Joan — told her that her story had hit the newspapers. This explains how Philomena Guinea, a wealthy woman who had gone through the same pain and misery, found out about Esther’s story. The warmhearted lady financed Esther’s stay at a more expensive asylum, where she bounced off the bottom.

The story can also be analysed from the perspective of American society. Did it influence Esther’s state of mind? As the second part of the 20th century started, the United States of America kept on going through a restless time. In the 50s, due to the Cold War Americans were afraid of anything that might be linked to communism. The Rosenbergs were mentioned in the first sentence of “The Bell Jar”. They were a couple executed for conspiracy to pass information to the Soviet Union. In the 60s, citizens did not seem to be allowed to express their opinion, which caused a chaotic period. Still more voices were fighting for Civil Rights, the hippies were against the Vietnam War and the feminists saw it as a perfect opportunity to fight for their own rights. Among other things, women did not want to feel dominated by men anymore, they wanted society to treat them equally and they wanted to break the housewife spell.

I am convinced that Esther Greenwood was influenced by the spirit of the time. She was definitely a feminist, but unfortunately she had less faith in her future. Perhaps the oppression of women was already remarkable two centuries earlier?

The story Jane Austen wrote about Emma Woodhouse was not a description of a negative trace society left on a person. The story did not flow smoothly either, but nobody suffered from chronic depression. The characters were simply in illusory love. Emma was a young lady who found matchmaking much more satisfying than painting or embroidering. Her friend — Herriet Smith — was a naive girl, who let Emma manipulate and organise her life.

The first young man with whom Harriet Smith fell in love was Mr Elton. According to Emma’s observations, they would match perfectly. Unfortunately, he proposed to Emma and not to Harriet. Emma refused his proposal, but Herriet was devastated by this unexpected turn. Luckily Harriet got over it and found a new man with whom she wanted to share her love, it was Mr Martin. They were mutually infatuated with each other, but Emma’s advice caused that Harriet refused his proposal.

Is third time a charm? A new gentleman put a spell on Herriet. When Emma heard the news, she thought about Frank Churchill. He was a charming, talented and smart man, who came to visit his father in Highbury. Emma was wrong, though. When she realised Herriet’s new crush was Mr Knightley, she turned bitter. Emma was convinced that she had “never been in love; it [was] not [her] way, or [her] nature; and [she did] not think [she] ever shall”. This time she did not feel like matching them as she was the one who loved Mr Knightley.

Mr Knightley proposed to Emma and she accepted his proposal. It put an end to her friendship with Herriet. The good news was that Herriet’s love for Mr Martin did not fade and they married each other as well.

“Emma” by Jane Austen takes place in the United Kingdom during the Georgian Age. As the book was published in 1815, the story was probably written at the beginning of the 19th century. It was a time of social and economic change. The Industrial Revolution caused that still more people were working in factories and moved to cities. However, the story takes place in idyllic Highbury, a village near London where wealthy families lived. Emma Woodhouse came from the upper-middle class3. It is reflected in her peaceful lifestyle, her posh clothes and the parties she attended, where the guests enjoyed rich meals.

In the same period the Napoleon Wars took place. They caused that minimal amounts of grain were imported to Britain from Europe. The author mentioned poverty in the book, but she did not elaborate on this subject. Emma paid charitable visits to poor families, but the conversations were always about trivial subjects, so the living conditions of the poor in villages and in cities4 were not discussed. In my opinion, Jane Austen skipped these subjects, because she was convinced they were obvious facts to the readers.

I enjoy opening a book and feel that a new adventure has begun. There are ups and downs in most reading experiences, but you always come back stronger and wiser. Both books contained inspiring quotes.

In “The Bell Jar” one metaphor in chapter five caught my attention particularly. I quote:

I flipped through one story after another until finally I came to a story about a fig-tree. This fig-tree grew on a green lawn between the house of a Jewish man and a convent, and the Jewish man and a beautiful dark nun kept meeting at the tree to pick the ripe figs, until one day they saw an egg hatching in a bird’s nest on a branch of the tree and as they watched the little bird peck its way out of the egg, they touched the backs of their hands together, and then the nun didn’t come out to pick figs with the Jewish man any more but a mean-faced Catholic kitchen-maid came to pick them instead and counted up the figs the man picked after they were both through to be sure he hadn’t picked any more than she had, and the man was furious.

Two chapters later Esther Greenwood used the same story as a metaphor to describe her state of mind. Her life was the fig tree. Every sweet fruit growing on the tree was a magnificent opportunity, but she did not know which one to pick. She decided to sit in the shadow of the tree to think about the decision she should make. In the meantime she noticed that all those fruity figs turned black and mouldy. They were surrounding her like a herd of fierce animals. The dark part begins here. Esther started to draw up the cruellest plans to commit suicide. It sounded as if she woke up in an extremely bad mood one day and simply followed her chaotic thoughts. That was absolutely not the case. To be honest, I was moved by the long process of Esther’s with ups and downs. The young girl did not feel complete in any place — not in glamorous New York, nor in her modest hometown. She felt as if her soul left her body and she tried to find it. Unfortunately with the conviction that she would never find it back.

Her own mother was not fully aware of the gravity of the problem. Mrs Greenwood kept on repeating that Esther was not one of those insane and silly inmates, she was someone better. However, Esther knew how she felt inside and her mother’s words were only aggravating her emotional state.

As “Emma” by Jane Austen was rather a love story, I found many romantic and inspiring quotes, which probably set my expectations too high. It is hard to choose one, but let me quote Mr Knightley’s declaration of love to Emma:

“I cannot make speeches, Emma. If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more. But you know what I am. You hear nothing but truth from me (...) Bear with the truths I would tell you now, dearest Emma, as well as you have borne with them. The matter, perhaps, may have as little to recommend them. God knows, I have been a very indifferent lover. But you understand me. Yes, you see, you understand my feelings — and will return them if you can.”

This excerpt is a beautiful description of Mr Knightley’s love for Emma. The truth is the language is bombastic and the vocabulary sounds pompous. As Jane Austen came from an aristocratic family, this is a believable testimony in my opinion. She wrote the book using the words she heard in her daily life. As a reader from two centuries later, I found the book quite formal and wearisome. The story did inspire me, because the love story was much more complex than the ones we see in popular movies and books nowadays. I do not want to be misunderstood as I find the whole story interesting. However, the lack of action, the extremely long descriptions of the idyllic life and the difficult language made it sometimes hard for me to understand what the author was trying to say. I am grateful for the drawings as a summary of what was happening in the story. They were very helpful and stimulated my imagination to see what life was like in the 19th century.

Finding a relation between both books was not an easy task. A superficial fact is that both first names of the protagonists start with the letter “E” and they have the word “Wood” in their last name. A more profound similarity is that Esther and Emma avoided the life of an average woman. Both girls did not want to end up married to simply fit in society. Esther was rebellious, while Emma avoided relationships by meddling into others’ lives. Their own lives also changed in unpredictable ways. Esther did not get into her dream university and she ended up pregnant. Emma tried to be a happy independent woman, but in the end her heart admitted it needed love. Even though both heroines failed, it is important to set goals in life. Reaching the top with cuts and bruises is better than hitting rock bottom and ending up with a broken spine. 


***



I tried to fix the lay-out, but it won't stay the way I do it.
The Sources are definitely into freestyle, haha!
What is this???



Have a nice weekend!


MissCherry xo


Sources:


Barkan, Steve. “Social Class In The United States.” www.peoi.org. 6 Oct. 2013. Web. 11 Mar. 2016.

Green, John. The Fault In Our Stars. London: Pinguin Books, 2012. 


Hierarchy Structure. “19th Century England Social Hierarchy”. www.hierarchystructure.com/19th-century-england-social-hierarchy/

Lambert, Tim. “19th Century Britain”. 2012. www.localhistories.org/19thcentengland.html. Web. 12 May 2016.

Monday, August 8, 2016

Para Todos, Todos Los Días

No, I don't learn Spanish. It is written on my Hand & Body Cream. 
That's Spanish, right? Haha
Very relatable to the books content, though! 

The title is
Management Of Organisational Behaviour 
written by 
Paul Hersey
Kenneth H. Blanchard 
Dewey E. Johnson 

It's definitely for those who feel like being a leader.
I am not in the mood to be the Alpha Wolf.
I want to be Independent, but not the Leader. 
I hope you understand what I mean.
It makes perfectly sense to me!


Here are some literal excerpts that might tickle your curiosity. 


"When a person is alone, the world may seem "out of whack", but finding an environment in which others hold the same beliefs somehow makes order out of chaos. (...) Misery does not love just any company, it loves other miserable company." 

*

"Listening is one of the most critical skills in the communication process."

*

"Another thing to keep in mind in terms of learning is how you feel about learning something new. How did you feel the first time you ever tried to hit a baseball? If you were like most people, you felt anxious, nervous, and uncomfortable. This is the way most of us feel any time we attempt to do something new -- something significantly different from the things we are already comfortable doing."

*

"We speak at an average pace of 125 words per minute, but our brain is able to listen at a speed of 400 to 600 words per minute. (...) A "listening gap" occurs for the average person. The gap allows the brain to wander to thoughts unrelated to those being expressed by the speaker.

*

"Unless good feelings and kind thoughts are expressed, they mean nothing.”

*

"State your gut feelings (...) Although praisings do not take very long, they can have lasting effects. 
(…) These same concepts apply to any relationship, not only making people better managers. (...) Consider marriage, for example. A recent study reported that more second marriages break up than first marriages. (...) What that study confirmed was that if you are a "jerk" in one relationship, you'll probably be a jerk in your next relationship as well -- unless you learn the basics of human interaction."

*

"Self-esteem. It isn't fixed; it can change from day to day or even from hour to hour. Self-esteem is basically like a door that is locked from the inside."

*

"Make Time For Praising. Try it. You'll like catching people doing things right. It will put a spring in your step and a sparkle in their eye. And just imagine what it will do for the people you catch!"

*

"Reprimand Behaviour, Not the Person. First, you want to separate people's behaviour from them as individuals. You want to keep the people but get rid of their poor behaviour. (...) Focus on their behaviour without attacking them personally." 


***






I know, my quotes aren't very dry facts about management and being a leader.
But that's what I like about reading. 
I love finding relatable things. 

I hope you enjoyed this post!

This could definitely be my job.



MissCherry xo 

Thursday, August 4, 2016

Poetry Lane


Hide your face,
Bury it with grace.
Hold me tight,
No need to fight.

You are safe with me,
This is not irony.
Let it go,
Hold me close.

This is the end,
Goodbye my friend.
No time to waste,
My hand is not your destiny.

Tuesday, August 2, 2016

I Wouldn’t Hold My Breath If I Was You

I think I am taking my challenges way too seriously, haha! 
We're Tuesday evening and I read out two books. 
I wore a dress two days in a row, 
even though it's raining for like 24 hours. 

One way or another, I finally read the last 36 pages of
How To Find Your Soulmate 
Without Losing Your Soul

One day I came back home and it was simply on my desk. 
My mom bought it for me. The first thing I did -- I rolled my eyes. 
The truth is, I  really enjoyed it. 

It is a religious book written by Jason and Crystalina Evert. 
You get to know the opinion of both a man and a woman. 
A man who never gave up and a woman who found herself. 

Let's be honest, the book is 70% about why you should have sex after marriage.

Even though I kept on undermining their arguments, 
their examples made me admit -- they made a good point!
For all stubborn kids like me, it's really worth giving it a shot. 

In a world where we keep on reading titles like 
"How to feel better after a one-night stand?" 
it feels good to get to know a completely opposite lifestyle.

Here's an excerpt from the book. 
Those are all fragments I picked out + I translated them myself, 
which means, these aren't the original words. 




He can't live without you, but he has a girlfriend. The main problem of a Hot N Cold guy is making a decision, because he's interested in multiple women at the same time. He will be crazy about you... Once he's done with the other girl. 
A woman, who's in a relationship with a Hot N Cold guy looks like someone, who's stuck in a revolving door and she can't get out. "Oh, I'm inside! Oh, I'm outside!" (...)Luckily, it's easy to decipher a Hot N Cold guy. Most of the time they're in a relationship based on physicality and they don't feel like declaring anything. (...) You don't have to beg for their interest. Instead of handing him everything on a plate, try to make him fight for your heart. 
Love flourishes where you have commitment. So don't waste another few years on something that only exists in your imagination. Would you like to spend your life with a man, who's too passive and spineless?








A Bad Boy is a man who usually comes from a pathological family and that's why he has difficulties at school or at work, alcohol and drug addictions, that's why he's using violence or everything at once. 
Many girl are crazy about Bad Boys. When a woman gets attached to such a man, she starts feeling compassion and "sees in him what nobody else notices". She dreams about his potential, neglecting the fact that he won't grow up and he won't have a better life. As a result, women tend to keep a never-ending relationship, ignoring their intuition, that tells them to RUN. (...) If a guy ever tells you that he cannot live without you, trust me: he doesn't need a girlfriend. He needs a therapist. As long as both sides aren't healthy, you won't build a heathy relationship.
If a guy sees drugs, violence or alcohol as a way to manage stress, he will use stress as an excuse for bad behaviour. Remember that marriage and adulthood consist of lots of stress.







A teenage boy might have even 20 times more testosterone in his body than a woman. However, there are still adult men with the same problem. (...) It's important to notice: even though men have a lot of testosterone in their bodies, some of them can control it, while others are controlled by it.
A Walking Hormone thinks only about one thing. To reach his goal, he will usually manipulate the girl by putting pressure on her or by making her feel guilty. Friends might congratulate him, but a Walking Hormone is no-one else than a slave to his weaknesses. 
A Walking Hormone is also every guy who watches porn or asks you for nudes. (...) One man admitted: "Porn was my sex education for a very long time before actually having sex". Can you imagine what happens with the vision on sexuality when your professors are... porn producers?
A certain man described the love you're looking for as: "A wife must love her husband as if there was no other man on earth; and a husband should love his wife the exact same way -- as if no other woman existed". You can't consider a guy as a man, if he doesn't treat his woman with dignity. When a guy learns how to forget about himself to be good to someone else, he becomes a man. It happens when a guy learns what sacrifice means.








The Beautiful Killer has a lot in common with the Walking Hormone, but he's quite intelligent, which makes him particularly dangerous. The Beautiful Killer is aware that the majority of men need reasons not to have sex, while women in general need reasons to do it. 
While the Walking Hormone says out loud that he wants to have sex, the Beautiful Killer will be nice enough to convince you that you're the only one deciding about it. As the girl notices that the guy is a real gentleman she becomes an easy victim. 
Watch out, even though a Beautiful Killer won't push you to have sex, he won't push you keep your purity either.










At the beginning of a relationship a girl might like that her boyfriend is possessive or jealous. She might think: "Wow, how nice that he cares about everything I do". However, after little time you will notice that this "devotion" is unhealthy. 
Here are some examples:
- He asks you questions like "did you talk with that man while you went out?"
- He is jealous, but he says it's because he loves you.
- He makes you feel guilty when you spend time with others and not with him.
- He has different norms for himself than for you.
- He always acts as if he's the victim and makes you feel guilty. 
- He tells you that you are the lucky one because you have him and not the other way around. 
Just like him, you're also the victim. You can't change his behaviour, but you can change yours. If you're together -- Run! If it hasn't started yet -- Don't even think about it!











When it comes to the age difference, the older the couple is, the less it matters. 
In a world where every billboard and tabloid cover makes a girl feel that she isn't pretty enough, it feels great to meet a man who finds you attractive. (...) The fact is, she might not love the person she met, but she might love that someone wants her. 
A young girl feels excited that she has a much older boyfriend. As a woman's brain matures two to three years faster than a man's brain, the immaturity of her peers might look lame to a girl. Especially when going on a "level higher" looks very exciting. However, young women should be aware that mature men won't date much younger girls.










He's the type of guy who has a problem with his tongue. You have to analyse the words he pronounces because his language will show you the intentions of his heart. 
The reason why a man ruins a woman's self-esteem is because he has a negative image of himself. He feels that he will only keep a girl when her self-esteem will be lower than his. (...) Every time you give up on fake love, you are one step closer to real love. A man has to learn how to bless and not how to curse and he will only learn it when he'll notice that he paid for it with the friendship and love he craved for.
Once a man starts telling that you couldn't have found better than him, realise that you probably couldn't have found worse.









Usually our male pride tells us to accuse someone else, while we know that we are the only guilty ones. (...) That's why you should pay attention to excuses that justify cheating. Here are some examples:
- It was an accident
- She simply started kissing me all of a sudden
- I don't know how it happened. There was this spark and afterwards I couldn't stop myself
- I was drunk
If he calls you a week later to tell you he's a different person, it means he will be that different person five years later. Tell him, he should call you back after that time. The main reason is infidelity in a man's heart. Remember in the future: if you meet a man that you can't trust, it means you're dating the wrong person. When a woman starts feeling a slightly bit uncertain, it means she's very close to discovering something." 









Imagine that you're married and you go to your bedroom around 8 P.M. On your way you peep into your kid's room and you see your husband teaching your daughter how to pray. 
Now imagine Sunday morning, while getting ready to church with your daughter. You're almost leaving and you turn around to you see your husband, where you can usually find him, in front of the tv. 
The Religious Dummy is a guy who has many positive qualities, but he can't bring you closer to God. He has tons of questions, but he won't put any effort to find some answer.








If you think that your connection is real, because you spent 4 hours talking yesterday night, it's time to find some new hobby outside. (...) Mr. Online has the power to show you the sides he wants to be seen and not the way he is seen in real life. (...) There's no such thing as dating online. You can meet someone online, but every real relationship starts when there's no screen between you two.




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- How do I know when a guy really loves me?
- Am I being too picky?
- Do I even deserve love?
- Is my relationship worth keeping?
- Is love worth the risk?
- Are any decent guys left?



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MissCherry xo